digital pen, digital paper.

"I can’t remember the first time I came across Max because, like any good dysfunction, it was as if..."

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:22:49 -0400

“I can’t remember the first time I came across Max because, like any good dysfunction, it was as if he was always there.”

- Susannah Breslin

This is a digital painting I came across years ago that I...

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 00:33:56 -0400

This is a digital painting I came across years ago that I absolutely love. I have no information about it, except I can recall it was a collaborative work in which one artist started with a few basic elements, then passed it to another who modified several of the elements, who in turn passed it to another, and so on.

I wish I could find the story once more, which posted each artist’s contribution so you could see transformation throughout the creative process.

Home Movies That Take Your Breath Away

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:20:00 -0500

An old friend, one I have not seen nor spoken with in 17 years, just sent me an email. I am not one who enjoys small talk or catching up with people’s lives through direct questioning (So, what have you been up to?), so I was pleased to find he was only indulging me in a bit of nostalgia.

Quite simply, and as informally as if we had just spoken some days before, he asked, “remember Hamenhoff’s List? :) I hope so”

At first, my thought was no, but upon reflection, I had vague recollections of a movie we made using his parents’ VHS camcorder. Only two parts of filming came to mind, but the general WWII theme involved a Rambo-Jew inflicting vengeance against the Nazis.

Violence was of course the main attraction for us boys. 9-year olds tend to not pander to those of high-brow wit, but we were certainly creative with our craft. Blood was obviously a necessary prop, so we used a combination of food coloring and a bit of Hersey’s syrup to capture the effect.

Playing the part of the Rambo-Jew, I laid upon the bathroom floor, camera angled upward from next to me. Within the shot, one could see the shower head as to mimic a gas chamber. Stepping into frame was my friend, playing every other part in the movie. His role in this scene was that of a Nazi soldier, standing over my body to laugh at my demise. He was unaware that I had survived, and I kicked my leg up and into his groin before escaping out the door.

Following the filming process, we dubbed over the action with dialogue and sound effects. My friend held the microphone in one hand while I clapped mine together at the exact moment of impact during this pivotal scene. At the last minute, he thought to open and slam the cabinet door of the entertainment center. The timing on the loud CRACK! could not have been more perfect, and the replay result left us gasping for air after a long bout of laughter.

"Colder than a well digger’s ass."

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 10:28:00 -0500

“Colder than a well digger’s ass.”

- Ed, 65-year old loader driver.

"It’s like expecting a duck to bark."

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:21:01 -0500

“It’s like expecting a duck to bark.”

- DP

“When the weight of the world has got you down, and you...

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:43:06 -0500

“When the weight of the world has got you down, and you want to end your life. Bills to pay, a dead end job, and problems with the wife. But don’t throw in the towel ‘cause there’s a place right down the block, where you can drink your misery away. At Flaming Moe’s …let’s all go to Flaming Moe’s… when liquor in a mug, can warm you like a hug. Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away.”

Flaming Moe’s Theme Song by The Simpsons

"Don’t forget to look for Jesus!"

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 13:17:17 -0500

“Don’t forget to look for Jesus!”

- Jenn

My iPhone wallpaper image. Related Article: Untethered.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:57:00 -0500

My iPhone wallpaper image.

Untethered.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:57:00 -0500

I went with a few friends to Sea World this past Friday. Several of us went there roughly six months ago, and the tickets we purchased at the time were upgraded to Seasonal, good through the end of the year, for only an additional four dollars. This trip last Friday cost us nothing to get in, but for fourteen dollars, we purchased Sea World’s version of the “fast pass” which basically lets you skip all of the lines. Wait times for us were never more than three minutes.

Sea World has two coasters. Kraken has been there for quite a while now, but Manta was new as of our visit when we purchased the tickets. The new and exciting concept of Manta is that instead of sitting in your bucket seat and riding above the track, after you strap in, the seats flip up toward an overhead track so that your body is face down, and you fly like super-man… or like a Manta-ray, same number of letters.

Unfortunately the ride was experiencing technical difficulties when we first arrived, so instead we started with Kraken. After a couple back-to-back runs on Kraken, we walked around a bit and saw Manta had started up again. Another couple back-to-back runs on Manta, but on our second go around, my friend Erin looked at me from my left, exclaiming something about Alex’s phone. Alex, on my right, passed back a confused look. He had his phone in his pocket. Erin revealed she had seen something fly away from the coaster. It appeared to be Alex’s Blackberry phone. I began fearing that she did indeed see a phone go loose, but it certainly was not Alex’s. His was safely in his front right pocket, the same location that I kept my iPhone.

Front right pocket.

Which was now empty.

Our other friend in the row behind us called forward. Who in row one or two lost something?! Erin replied for me. Jon’s iPhone had slipped out of his pocket.

I immediately walked to Guest Services to find out what could be done. They added my name to a form where I gave some brief information on what had been lost and where. After the park is closed, employees walk the grounds with flashlights searching for lost items. I will have to call back the following day to see if it is found.

Like some high-schooler or college flunky who is making near minimum wage will actually put forward any significant effort to find a black iPhone on a cold, dark night amongst the bushes and shrubs under the coaster?! I wanted to search for it myself, so we did our best to narrow down exactly where it might have landed. Certainly it would be cracked and broken, but I needed closure. I also might need the pieces in order to file an insurance claim for a replacement.

Erin and others were trying to bolster my confidence. She had witnessed it cascade toward some bushes, so perhaps it would not be broken. Calling the phone resulted in four rings before voicemail, another sign that the phone was still powered and functional. Even still, it would have to be located. A working iPhone lost in a theme park does me no good come work on Monday. We decided to ride Manta another couple times to try to narrow down which bushes it fell to, which actually turned out to be quite helpful. We had it figured to two specific areas, both under the coaster so that it was unsearchable without getting ejected from the park. I searched nonetheless, at least in the sections that were more accessible, but with no luck.

Returning to Guest Services, I asked if I could remain after the ride had shut down, to search the specific locations where it likely had landed. They were unable to allow it, and urged that I let the overnight maintenance crew search as the do on a nightly basis, scouring the park at any time around midnight to retrieve lost items. Could I add a note to the report I filed to help guide them in the right direction? No, because they do not see the reports. They search and deliver all findings back to the lost and found department. Reports are only used for purposes of making a claim.

I would have to wait until morning.

We did our best to make light of the situation throughout the day. I subscribe to the adage of laughter being the best medicine. My friends joined in on the fun, of course not for my sake, but the sake of mocking me in a loving manner. We also tried calling my phone throughout the night in the event that it might help the maintenance crew hone in if they happen to be in that area, but it always hit voicemail after the fourth ring.

I called in the following morning from a friend’s phone, fully anticipating that nothing was found. The woman with whom I spoke declared a Blackberry had come in that morning, but would have to check for an iPhone, and placed me on hold. I knew I would have to ask for a manager for access to the park immediately after close. Would they deny me the opportunity to search for my own phone when I had the knowledge of where it might be found?

Sir? We did have an iPhone come in. It’s black. Sixteen gigabyte. It’s in one piece? And works? Unlikely it would be mine. Mine had no case on it at the time. This one has no case, sir. Can you look at the picture, the wallpaper image that is on the phone? Is it… a fat horse?

Yes. It IS my phone! I cannot believe it survived.

Thank you, fat horse. Thank you.

"How big is it? Got a pic?"

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:10:21 -0500

“How big is it? Got a pic?”

- Dan

"Just tight enough to get it off."

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:39:07 -0500

“Just tight enough to get it off.”

- Chelsea

"You’re already pulling it out."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:05:50 -0500

“You’re already pulling it out.”

- Marcela

"Balls on the face are amazing."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:05:05 -0500

“Balls on the face are amazing.”

- Marcela

Ed, 65-year old loader driver, regarding Amura sushi restaraunt.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:03:57 -0500

Ed: It was like a meat locker in there.
Me: It was cold?
Ed: No, the women!

"Balls on the face are amazing!"

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:56:42 -0500

“Balls on the face are amazing!”

- Marcela

"I don’t know what to do. There’s too much taco."

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:25:47 -0500

“I don’t know what to do. There’s too much taco.”

- Lawson

"That’s a lot of beef."

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:25:43 -0500

“That’s a lot of beef.”

- Lawson

"How long has it been since you touched it?"

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:56:21 -0500

“How long has it been since you touched it?”

- Me

"Do not put that thing in my mouth again. It was disgusting!"

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:30:50 -0500

“Do not put that thing in my mouth again. It was disgusting!”

- Overheard at Disney

"Who’s playing with your cornhole?"

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:30:53 -0500

“Who’s playing with your cornhole?”

- Erin