digital pen, digital paper.

Articles of Confession

Wal-Mart: Always Low Prices. Always elderly folk working at the door.

During the Tennessee trip, it seemed important to make a Walmart run. Jimmy had a couple things he needed, including a printer cartridge and gallon of milk.

Upon walking out, the shoplifter alarm goes off, spurring an elderly man to intercept us. We offer our bags for inspection and he demands Jimmy walk back through the detector with a single bag, which causes no alarm. He points with an accusing finger to a bag held by Dave.

“What’s in that bag?”

The man’s eyesight must have been failing him. The single yellow form in the translucent plastic bag clearly indicated the contents.

“Milk.”

Looking into the bag he has taken from Jimmy, a grin spreads across his wrinkled face. He removes the printer cartridge and begins mid-air waving it in range of the detector. Nothing happens until he lowers his arm. Again, the alarm sounds as another man hurries out of the store with two bags in hand.

“Hold on there.”

The Tennessee native pauses and leans toward the store attendant. Disgust of inconvenience flashes across his furrowed brow as he lifts his purchase up in a showy display of consumerism.

“I GOT CHICKENS! … WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

All attention is then drawn to a middle-aged asian woman as she silently points to her nose. This distraction allows the Tennessee native to pivot and stomp out of the store with the grace and civility of a 10 year old who’s just lost TV privelages.

We decide to follow his lead and the asian woman does the same. The elderly attendant seems to accept the nose pointing as evidence of fair play and moves back to his post.