digital pen, digital paper.

Articles of Confession

I allowed fear to get the best of me. Not that the best of me was worth much at the time. I was still young and knew very little. And I imagine there were, and likely still are, other factors which helped foster that fear. Regardless, it kept me indoors and stifled a normal social education.

Well, sitting in silence can only entertain a mind for so long. Boredom got the best of me and I needed an outlet. Anything to escape.

I found several and they all worked. Two or three lasted me for several years, but  eventually they required dedication and focus to be effective. My focus is difficult to hold, so while they have not completely died out, they have become less frequent and less potent.

Only one vice stood the test of time. And it requires only as much effort as I choose to put in. But the reward is short-lived. Repetition became a necessary evil.

Repetition evolved into routine. Routine warped into addiction.

The fear is still there, but I am older now and have grown stronger. I have yet to overpower it, and worry that I may never, but at least today is better than days of my childhood.