July 2010
2 posts
1 tag
I can’t remember the first time I came across Max because, like any good...
– Susannah Breslin
2 tags
February 2010
1 post
1 tag
Home Movies That Take Your Breath Away
An old friend, one I have not seen nor spoken with in 17 years, just sent me an email. I am not one who enjoys small talk or catching up with people’s lives through direct questioning (So, what have you been up to?), so I was pleased to find he was only indulging me in a bit of nostalgia.
Quite simply, and as informally as if we had just spoken some days before, he asked, “remember...
January 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Colder than a well digger’s ass.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
2 tags
It’s like expecting a duck to bark.
– DP
December 2009
2 posts
2 tags
1 tag
Don’t forget to look for Jesus!
– Jenn
November 2009
14 posts
1 tag
Untethered.
I went with a few friends to Sea World this past Friday. Several of us went there roughly six months ago, and the tickets we purchased at the time were upgraded to Seasonal, good through the end of the year, for only an additional four dollars. This trip last Friday cost us nothing to get in, but for fourteen dollars, we purchased Sea World’s version of the “fast pass” which...
2 tags
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How big is it? Got a pic?
– Dan
1 tag
Just tight enough to get it off.
– Chelsea
1 tag
You’re already pulling it out.
– Marcela
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Balls on the face are amazing.
– Marcela
1 tag
Ed, 65-year old loader driver, regarding Amura...
Ed: It was like a meat locker in there.
Me: It was cold?
Ed: No, the women!
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Balls on the face are amazing!
– Marcela
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I don’t know what to do. There’s too much taco.
– Lawson
1 tag
That’s a lot of beef.
– Lawson
1 tag
How long has it been since you touched it?
– Me
1 tag
Do not put that thing in my mouth again. It was disgusting!
– Overheard at Disney
1 tag
Who’s playing with your cornhole?
– Erin
1 tag
October 2009
7 posts
1 tag
I’m happy you’re almost here. Emmi’s purr box will explode for...
– Lauren
1 tag
I’ll finger. You strum.
– Eric
1 tag
You’re what the cat’s covered up.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
Fuckin’-A twinkie.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
Poor girl. She was 8 before she was 7.
[She was ate before she was seven.]
– Regarding Britney Spears. Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
I haven’t had this much fun since Ma got her tit stuck in the ringer.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
I didn’t squeeze it.
– Eric
September 2009
8 posts
1 tag
Facts About Jon, Number 67
With the exception of only a select few friends, Jon avoids any social situation involving only one other individual. He prefers socializing in small groups to remove the fear of possible awkward silences during conversation.
1 tag
If it smells like fish, get a dish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
– Regarding sushi. Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
Happy as a sissy on a troop train.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
Can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
As hard as a minister’s dick.
– Ed, 65-year old loader driver.
1 tag
Do you want to be on top or bottom?
– Josh to his brother Jake
1 tag
Ever blow a dandelion?
– Hack
1 tag
I always feel like a little girl.
– Jimmy
August 2009
8 posts
2 tags
Pick of the Litter
Upon entering the room containing the litter of similar looking black fuzzy things, he’s the one that distinguished himself by excitedly jumping sideways into a wall and falling on his back. I pointed, and said something like, “Give me the flailing retard.”
-atomatic
2 tags
digital pen, digital paper.
More words per minute, less eraser dust.
1 tag
1 tag
I’m trying to hit him in the sweet spot.
– Tyler
1 tag
This is horrible with the left hand. It’s like a stranger.
– Eric
1 tag
Let me know when I can get in and take a look at that crack of yours.
– Me
1 tag
Get down on this, my friend.
– Eric
1 tag
July 2009
5 posts
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
Pump her while she’s sleeping.
– Alex
1 tag
I barely swallowed it.
– Jimmy
1 tag
Clay of the Day →
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June 2009
14 posts
1 tag